just going to drop this right here without fear because you know me a bit more by now. today, I'm talking about hate but before I do...did you know this is my tenth newsletter since coming back full-time? I can't believe it, ten whole weeks; feels longer with all the sh!t going on lol. thank you for sticking around and coming back weekly; hope you stay especially after this one. here goes. hate - according to Wikipedia - is a feeling that can cause an angry or resentful emotional response, which can be used against certain people, or ideas. however you think about hate, you know what it feels like and I can take a wild guess that you've experienced it before either as the perpetrator or recipient. usually, we hate what we fear or don't understand and each of us has a different way of expressing it. take me for example, I hate snakes; I'm afraid of them and they gross me out. I don't wish death on snakes but I want nothing to do with them. I can't watch videos of snakes let alone be physically in the same space as one.
my fear of snakes began with one bad childhood memory; I was walking with my big brother to a park when suddenly, a snake slithered out the bushes chasing a lizard. I took off running but turned to see my big brother frozen in place and I remember being so scared for him and was praying he won't get bitten. from that day, I subconsciously associated my brother getting hurt with snakes and my hate for the animal grew. fast-forward to my junior year in college; I went on a hike with a few friends and towards the end of the trail, slowly making its way across the path was a snake. my mind went back to my first and only other experience with a snake and that was literally the last time I went on a hike. true story. I make decisions on where to go based on the likelihood of snake-contact and if the chances are high, I don't go. recently, I've been working on changing my perspective to reduce my hatred for snakes; it's going to take work because my hate was justified by a deep fear of bodily harm or death to a loved one.
since we hate what we fear or don't understand, I'm working to increase my understanding of snakes to reduce my fear hence reducing my hatred for them. I'm gradually watching videos of snakes - not videos of them hunting their lunch but other things like, did you know snakes drink water and fall asleep? the less I hate snakes, the more I'm open to trying things that expand my quality of life such as hiking, camping, etc. without fear of snake-contact. you may be wondering what this has to do with anything but in context, hate is a feeling that's rooted in fear. did you have a bad experience with one thing that led you to hate an entire group of that thing? what are you doing to let go and live happier? hate will never win so when you have the choice, choose to love in the end; future you will be happy you did. reflecting on my childhood memory with that snake, the poor animal was simply getting its lunch and twenty-sum years later, I'm close to finding peace. hope whatever you hate doesn't take you too long to find your peace.